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RSSDerek’s Infallibility Seriously Questioned
The powers that be championed Derek as a weather prognosticator of pristine power. No mere weather man, Derek was closer to meteorological prophet than 10 o’clock snow man. So they said. Recently Derek’s infallibility has come under intense scrutiny, however, as he predicted a snow day for central Ohio schools last week.
As the astute reader might intuit, Derek predicted incorrectly the day off. Instead, workers cleared the roads rather easily after a fairly timid snowfall blanketed the area early during the night. Ironically, the following day was canceled. Derek did not predict the day off the second time. The back-to-back misstep seems to have hit Derek’s reputation in a bad way.
At school on the day in session, Derek endured taunts of “false prophet!” and “if I wanted to have my weather predicted this badly, I’d go to television!” Derek planned to skip the following day, but, as fate would have it, school was canceled. Derek thought he might enjoy a quiet day to recoup from the berating hordes, but they showed up at his house to boycott his status as prognosticator.
Andrew Wood held a sign outside his house that read “I go to real weather men (aka Craig Eckert).” Maggie Cellar hoisted a placard with the message: “Like Wendy’s food, Derek’s predictions have poop in them!”
Derek has been unavailable for comment, but he sent a statement to the press which informs the world that he has moved to Florida, where he figures he will be 100% when it comes to predicting snow days at his new high school.
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