Traces of Wood Found in Ancient Meteorite

In a bizarre, but not completely surprising, development, traces of Andrew Wood were found in a meteorite which has been radiometricly age dated at over 6 billion years old. This discovery is stunning mostly due to the fact that the Earth itself is believed to be 4.5 billion years old.

“We don’t quite understand what he have stumbled upon,” said Princeton geologist Richard Kyle Richards. “The scientific establishment has firmly set the age of the Earth at 4.5 billion years, yet this meteorite with traces of Andrew Wood is clearly 6 billion years old. It’s not a mistake, we tested it at least nine times.”



The next logical leap would entail the meteorite falling to Earth sometime after the formation of the planet. That notion was blown to bits by Richards. “The crazy part is where we found this piece of rock. It wasn’t on the surface or even right below,” he said, “This meteorite was discovered at the core of the planet. Based on its size, the meteorite did not simply plow hundreds of miles into the Earth due to its inertia. All data point to the fact that the Andrew Wood meteorite did not come to Earth after the planet was formed.”

This eerie fact raises several unsettling questions. How did the meteorite manage to get to the core of the Earth before the Earth even existed? How was Andrew Wood around 6 billion years ago? Did this meteorite actually form the mass that would become Earth, meaning therefore that Andrew Wood is at the heart of the planet? How has Andrew Wood managed to come from an extraterrestrial source, emerged from the core, survived 6 billion years, and still managed to stay on top of the rollerchairball world?

Andrew Wood refused comment, citing his policy of radio silence while at his summer home in Barbados. Mr. Wood seemed unaware that it is not summer.



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Posted on February 5th, 2008 by kyle and filed under RQ |

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