Greene Becomes Newest Lucky Charms Color

General Mills shocked the breakfast world recently with the announcement that Lucky Charms will add another marbit to its repertoire. The Rollerchairball world rejoiced when they learned the new marshmallow bit comes thanks to Taylor Greene, National League or Rollerchairball superstar and leprechaun aficionado.

Cereal traditionalists cried foul when they discovered the new color strongly resembles an old color, which seems to contradict a General Mills policy. Usually, GM phases out a marshmallow piece if a new color matches an older one. In this case, the newly-unveiled Greene Office Chair finds a similar hue to that of the green clovers. This similarity has caused these so-called loyalists to ask for heads to roll: “These Rollerchairball players are ruining my breakfast!” cried Sebastian Jackson, “Are they above the rules? Am I the only one who cares about the rules?”



Taylor Greene, in a highly-publicized press conference, defended herself and the league. “These people all need to settle down. My new color is not even green, it’s “Greene.” They’re completely different,” Greene noted. “Not to mention, in addition to green clovers, there is already a two-tone green leprechaun hat in each box! Is that not a violation of their sacred policy?”

Jackson countered, “That’s hogwash. The hats and the clovers are obviously separate colors. The office chairs are exactly the same as the hats!”

Greene shot back, “The hats are leprechaun green. My office chairs are unmistakably Mean Forest Greene.” She also challenged Jackson to take a color blindness test and a polygraph. When asked why she wanted him to take the lie-detector test, she answered, “Because he deserves to be vindicated as a truth teller, so people can tell he is obviously insane.”

She finished her conference by stating, “This is a great day for Rollerchairball and for cereal. The office chair is finally gaining the respect it deserves in mainstream America, right next to the shooting star, the rainbow, and the marshmallow heart.”



For a limited time, each box of Lucky Charms will include a piece of the unwashed t-shirt that served as the National League of Rollerchairball’s official ball for over two years.

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Posted on November 2nd, 2007 by kyle and filed under RQ |

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