RCB Cruise Line Set to Launch

Rollerchairball has announced another venture in its trillion dollar a day business: cruises.

“I don’t know what you’re used to,” mused Doug Tatz, while taking a break from changing the oil on his snowmobile, “but unless I’m on a boat as big as Rhode Island and unless I’m being offered giant nacho hats with a brim that actually holds in the cheese without it making the hat all mushy, then I’m probably not going to be happy. Luckily, the Rollerchairball Cruise Line offers all that and more.”

Rollerchairball Cruise Line is offering anywhere from week-long to month-long trips and even decade-long trips.

“A decade may seem like a long time,” said Brandon Lock, while walking through his manicured gardens in Tijuana, “but when you think of the price, 148 billion dollars, then you really realize why it’s worth staying on the boat those whole ten years. When you’re paying that much, you need to get your money’s worth, especially when you’ve had to give up your career to go on the trip.”

When asked if he would ever go on a trip that long, Mr. Lock didn’t reply, but offered this reporter a pen advertising Gill’s So-So Lobster Shanty.

“Mr. Lock insists you go there,” said one of the 30 bodyguards surrounding Mr. Lock and this reporter. “It’s like you’re questions–mediocre.”

The bodyguards then scurried Mr. Lock off through a secret doorway in a tree which seemed, to this reporter, to have loud disco music blaring from inside.



Posted on October 18th, 2007 by Wood and filed under Wood's Corner |

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