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Rollerchairball TV Has Arrived
Last night, at 7pm EST, Rollerchairball went on the air, live.
“We’re thrilled,” said Kyle Stout from his yacht, just off the coast of Massachusetts. “We were a little worried about sponsors, at first, since Tatz had alienated so many of our previous sponsors by refusing to mention their names anymore at press conferences. But it worked out. White Castle and RC Cola were there for us, just like they’re there for all of you.”
The channel will feature live, on-the-spot coverage of all the latest games, from exhibition, to tournament, to 2v1s, and, of course, in-depth analysis.
“Since there’s games going on all over the world,” said Mackenzie Eckert, from her cell phone at an undisclosed KFC, “we are able to keep the channel exciting round the clock. There’s no period at night where we’re off the air. And if there isn’t a game to be shown in the middle of the night, then I’ll call and wake people up and make them play, or else.”
Many players are expecting to have their own show in the future. Taylor Greene had this to say: “I haven’t cleared this yet with the Founding Fathers plus Mike, but I hope to have a Magic Hour. And if not, then I’ll ask for a Magic Half-Hour. I’m willing to compromise. I mean, really, there’s only so many thumb tricks I can do before the kids turn on me.”
Rollerchairball TV is available through your local cable provider for $3 billion a month.
