A Typical Training Day for a Rollerchairball Player

4:00am–Wake up, drink glass of raw eggs, brush teeth

4:15am–continue brushing teeth intensely because of the raw eggs

4:30am–run ten miles

4:35am–catch breath

9:30am–oil chair, Febreeze pads

9:45am–take shower

12:30pm–head to Block Mansion Recreation Area (BMRA), do 100 laps in pool while in chair

12:40pm–dry-off

12:41pm–have a note sent to Mr. Lock thanking him for the use of his facilities, and that he is really too gracious (this is a great way to be invited to his next party)

12:42pm–adjourn to Courtyard to meditation on how to improve play

4:00pm–send another note to Mr. Lock informing him that to improve your play, you’ll need another million–and that’s million with a “b”

4:01pm–take nap before dinner in one of the thousands of hammocks located on the Block Mansion grounds

4:25pm–awaken to the butler saying that Mr. Lock has revoked your dinner invitation

4:27pm–sneak into guest house, eat leftovers. brush teeth.

5:00pm–roll home (this is a slow exercise meant to aid digestion)

6:00pm–arrive home, store chair in its garage (a true Rollerchairball player has three garages, one for his chair, one for his car, and one for his zeppelin)

6:05pm–begin push-ups

9:30pm–begin sit-ups

2:30am–head to White Castle for Crave Case. brush teeth at White Castle.

3:00am–return home, call friends telling them you just ate an entire Crave Case. Brush teeth at home.

3:45am–sleep



Posted on August 29th, 2007 by Wood and filed under Wood's Corner |

2 Responses

  1. The Ambassador Says:
    August 29th, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    This may sound like a rigorous schedule to some, but really, 15 minutes of sleep isn’t that bad. Our extreme exhaustion explains many of our stoic efforts and beautiful plays in-game.

  2. taytay Says:
    August 29th, 2007 at 9:11 pm

    ah yes…the daily life of a rollerchairball player…i know it well, i know it well… some people just dont understand how much we do in one day. we have to stick to this schedual in order to stay on top of our game… i mean come on 100 laps in 10 min. not many players can do that…when you live like this you win.

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