A Typical Training Day for a Rollerchairball Player

4:00am–Wake up, drink glass of raw eggs, brush teeth

4:15am–continue brushing teeth intensely because of the raw eggs

4:30am–run ten miles

4:35am–catch breath

9:30am–oil chair, Febreeze pads

9:45am–take shower

12:30pm–head to Block Mansion Recreation Area (BMRA), do 100 laps in pool while in chair

12:40pm–dry-off

12:41pm–have a note sent to Mr. Lock thanking him for the use of his facilities, and that he is really too gracious (this is a great way to be invited to his next party)

12:42pm–adjourn to Courtyard to meditation on how to improve play

4:00pm–send another note to Mr. Lock informing him that to improve your play, you’ll need another million–and that’s million with a “b”

4:01pm–take nap before dinner in one of the thousands of hammocks located on the Block Mansion grounds

4:25pm–awaken to the butler saying that Mr. Lock has revoked your dinner invitation

4:27pm–sneak into guest house, eat leftovers. brush teeth.

5:00pm–roll home (this is a slow exercise meant to aid digestion)

6:00pm–arrive home, store chair in its garage (a true Rollerchairball player has three garages, one for his chair, one for his car, and one for his zeppelin)

6:05pm–begin push-ups

9:30pm–begin sit-ups

2:30am–head to White Castle for Crave Case. brush teeth at White Castle.

3:00am–return home, call friends telling them you just ate an entire Crave Case. Brush teeth at home.

3:45am–sleep



Posted on August 29th, 2007 by Wood and filed under Wood's Corner |