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Happy Meal Toys to Feature Rollerchairball Legends
McDonald’s announced this morning its plans to offer figurines of Rollerchairball legends in each Happy Meal.
“We figured it was time,” said Lisa Moore-Mayo, head of marketing for McDonald’s. “All the kids these days have traded in their video games for chairs, and they just roll around the streets and sidewalks saying, ‘Check out this sweet move–I’m Brandon Lock,’ or ‘Watch me get around this oncoming pedestrian like Kyle Stout.’ Rollerchairball is in the cultural bloodstream.”
Brandon Lock, head of Block International, is thrilled at the idea. “I always knew McDonald’s would get on board. They’re smart people. I wouldn’t be eating a Big Mac a day if I didn’t think so.”
When asked what action-poses each figurine would be in, Mr. Lock replied, “It depends on the individual’s strengths. We’re still working on the exact poses. Whatever happens, we know that we will always look good, otherwise we’re taking our business to White Castle.”
