Chia-Batista Spotted

Yet another appearance of the disappeared Dave Chia-Batista was reported yesterday afternoon. Doug Tatz of Worthington, Ohio, reports:

“I was walking down to Worthington Pizza to pick up my hourly spokesperson check, when I spotted ol’ ‘Batista rowing a boat down High St.”

Rowing a boat? This reporter was confused.

“Yeah,” Tatz, went on. “I was baffled myself. When I called out to him and asked what he was doing, he raised an oar and said, ‘Whatever’s on land doesn’t sink in the water, Tatzy!’ When I called Lock to tell him about it, he said, ‘Don’t worry about it. During June, Dave thinks every day is a Wednesday.’”

Brandon Scherer and Kyle Stout were asked to comment, but could not be reached, as they are currently searching for Mike Barone, who was last seen entering the Burmese jungle with a soup pan on his head and a song on his lips.

No word yet on whether Mr. Chia-Batista obeys the traffic lights.



Posted on June 26th, 2007 by Wood and filed under Wood's Corner |

NLR Announces Ohio State Onslaught Details

The National League of Rollerchairball is pleased to announce details for the third stop of the 2007 Summer Series, Ohio State Onslaught. Each NLR tournament has increased exponentially in terms of excitement, stature, game play, and, of course, the prizes. For the June tourney, prizes have reached an all time high.

The tourney will hit Ohio State on Saturday June 30th. For all the details on the event, please visit the Ohio State Onslaught Directory.

The National League of Rollerchairball hopes to see you there!



Posted on June 19th, 2007 by kyle and filed under Coverage, Tourneys |

Brandon United at PNB

Louie McGeez, Associated Press

Brandon Lock and Brandon Scherer, known around the league as “Brandon United,” were spotted last Saturday leaving Park National Bank with a large sack marked with a dollar sign. When asked what sort of business they were attending to, Mr. Scherer answered, “The business of me gettin’ some Gs, McGeez.” When asked the same question, Mr. Lock answered, “It’s time to bring things to life, McGeez. The turkeys are done ditching the line.”

“So to speak?” asked this reporter, confused.

“So to what?” asked Mr. Scherer, taking off his sunglasses.

“Explain the meaning of Mr. Lock’s last statement” answered this reporter.

“That’s your job,” replied Mr. Lock, as both legends climbed onto and rode away on their tandem bicycle.



Posted on June 18th, 2007 by Wood and filed under Wood's Corner |